Haircuts, Crickets, and the End of All Things

As Braveheart plays on my tv in the background, I ponder three things that have been weighing very heavily on my mind:

1. One, I need a haircut.
2. Two, I need to get over my fear of bugs, because Austin is in the process of being systematically taken over by crickets.
3. Three, I'm pretty sure the last time I looked in a mirror, my left ear moved without me consciously trying to move it, and after unsuccessfully trying for half an hour to recreate said motion, I am left with the notion that my ear will move when it wants to, not when I want it to.

These things weigh very heavily on my mind because they represent some things that I am in the process of discovering: I need to accept things about myself that I cannot change, I need to get over my fears, and I need to get a haircut every 6-8 weeks.

What are my fears, you might ask?

1. Comedy. I'm deathly afraid of comedy, well, really I'm just afraid of not being funny, or of not knowing that I'm not funny (ignorance would not be bliss). And so I've decided that I have to practice more, and as a result, comedy has a much bigger timeshare in my life. My plan is to attack comedy from all sides: sketch, improv, and stand-up. Because that's what they'd least expect, right?
2. Bugs. Crickets keep showing up in places I don't expect them to, watching, and waiting for me to make a mistake. And when I do, I'm scared to think of what they're capable of doing.
3. Ghosts. I just discovered a TV show called Ghost Adventures, where an intrepid group of three friends scope out some of the most haunted places on earth. It's made me see that maybe those bumps in the night aren't always a figment of my imagination.
4. Fear itself.

But comedy, crickets, and the occasional haunting won't stand in my way. I just wish I knew where my "way" is leading...